My Dearest Kiandra

My youngest had a fever few days ago. I didn't go to work that day.
And last night, she was a little cranky and wanted to be picked up all the time. And she wanted to picked up by me.
My first instinct was that she must've been hurt, psychologically, by our helper.
My husband said that she missed me and somehow felt the bad feelings I might feel.
I don't know... All I know is that I do have a bad feeling.
A bad feeling about leaving her in the care of someone I don't really trust, about leaving her for too long, longer than I've ever left her older siblings when they were her age.
I wish I could afford staying home and taking care of her longer that I am.
I'm so sorry Kiandra. I do love you, sweety-pie.